The Woman's Dog-Boy
by TeeLee123
Summary: Vegeta can't help but wonder why the Woman is treating him like a four-legged beast! * Fair warning: I drank lots of sweet soda and marshmallows, this is the result of my sugar high. CRAZY FLUFFINESS! Strangely, not as crazy as my others. Hmmmm.
1. Chapter 1

Yep, Vegeta knew that loud mouthed woman was nuts the moment he met her. Saying she knew Kakarot since he was a boy and practically raising him was his first clue, only a crazy woman could brag about something like that!

The fact that she's puckering her lips, waving a senzu bean in his face and mumbling incoherent gibberish is what sealed the deal.

_What the hell is wrong with this woman?_

Vegeta, with his mouth agape, slowly lowered the carton of milk he'd been drinking from. Okay so he should've grabbed a glass first like the woman is always nagging at him to do, but is that really a good enough reason for this woman's cheese to fall of her cracker?

Considering this planet's bizarre customs and traditions, he guessed that there needn't be a good enough answer, craziness was a disease infecting every pitiful human being on the planet!

For the tiniest second, Vegeta considered yelling for the blond-haired woman, the one that loved to feed him and who birthed the crazy blue woman in the first place.

He didn't though, it was a fleeting thought brought on from the exposure of being around a crazy person.

He was the Prince of all Saiyans! He didn't fear anyone, especially the loud mouthed Bulma! Calling for help? Ha! Only Kakarot would do something so cowardly, and weak. Plus, he didn't know the blonde woman's name and calling her 'Woman' just wouldn't do, for she liked to feed him.

Food was just something he couldn't live without.

Vegeta glared at Bulma as he swiped the senzu bean from her fingers, sniffing it to make sure it wasn't poisoned before popping it into his mouth.

_Ah, this is just what I needed!_

Vegeta raised his fists and powered up, admiring his bulging muscles.

"Who's a good boy? Who's a good boy?" Bulma cooed.

Vegeta's aura returned to normal, and his mouth widened, meaning to yell at the woman for lightly slapping him on the head in a strange manner, but the words wouldn't come out. . . he was speechless!

Bulma winked and lightly caressed his cheek." That's right, you're my good boy, Vegeta. If you stay a good boy, I might reward you with a better treat!"

_Is. . .is she mocking me?_

Infuriated, Vegeta slapped Bulma's hand away.

_How dare she treat a Saiyan warrior like. . .like. . .like some type of child!_ No one would've dared to pull a stunt like this back on his home planet, or even after it blew up, not even Frieza would treat a warrior in this humiliating way!

Vegeta clenched his fists and glared into Bulma's wide, stupid, blue eyes. He could blow her head up, mutilate an arm or strangle her until she passedsout! He could do it! He was the most ruthless Saiyan that ever lived, what would it matter if the world had one less blue haired, nagging, crazy ass woman?

The fire of his male ego went out at the thought of harming Bulma, not because he was going soft like Kakarot or anything like that. He needed Bulma for one reason. . . to fix the gravity room whenever he broke it, which he knew was going to break the moment he got back to it.

"I could've." Vegeta mumbled, narrowing his eyes as he walked away to sulk in the gravity room.

Bulma smiled knowingly at Vegeta's back.

"I love messing with him," Bulma said to herself, grabbing a clipboard from the white countertop. She uncapped her pen and checked off the first test exercise on her list.

*** I'm debating making the story 1 or 2 chapters longer. Guess we'll find out this weekend, wont we?**

**HOPE YOU LIKED THE STORY! EVEN IF IT WAS A SHORTY!**


	2. Chapter 2

"Sit." Bulma commanded.

Vegeta refused to comply, and continued to lean against the wall of the kitchen.

"Sit." Bulma said again, her voice lowering angrily.

"Woman. . ." Vegeta sighed, walking across the kitchen and reaching out for a muffin Bulma's mother had baked earlier. The moment he did, tho, Bulma slapped the top of his hand, hard, forcing him to drop the muffin back on the plate.

_Does this woman want to die?_

Vegeta scowled at her, seriously considering ways to punish the bossy woman. Gravity room repair woman or not, nobody tells the Prince of Saiyans what he can and cannot do!Nobody! Not unless they want to die a painful, horrible death that is.

Vegeta glared at Bulma. She didn't blink, tremble, or avert her gaze like he expected her to. Since when did it become important for him to sit before eating something? He always ate standing or on the way back to the gravity room. _What gives? Is this apart of that PM-whatever disease she goes through every month?_

Crossing his arms, Vegeta leaned back against the table so his buttocks was touching it. Technically, he was sitting. He smirked at Bulma's surprised expression, she wasn't expecting that.

"Alright. I'm sitting. Now what?" Vegeta asked cooly, slightly amused by this game she's playing. A game he felt he was winning.

"Oh, you're such a smart man, aren't you? Aren't you? Yes you are! Yes you are!" Bulma praised, talking animatedly and patting her thighs to emphasize her excitement. Vegeta closed his eyes and smiled. He knew Earthlings were simpletons but never pegged Bulma as one. Ah, so the woman wasn't going crazy, she was just showing her natural colors. . . she was stupid. A stupid genius sometimes, but still completely, and utterly stupid.

_Heh, I am smart. It's about time that woman realised it. Sure took her long enough._

After allowing Vegeta to bask in her praises, Bulma took one of the muffins, tore off a chunk and forced a piece into Vegeta's mouth, while petting him with her free hand." There you go. Good boy, good boy."

Vegeta instantly spit out the muffin. Bulma flinched as the bread chunks scattered over her face and stuck.

That's it! She went to far! How dare she pet him like some type of inferior pet and hand feed him like an infant!

"To hell with this! Keep the damn muffin!" Vegeta roared, wiping his mouth of any crumbs and storming out of the kitchen.

Bulma stared at the spot where Vegeta had been standing. Sighing, she took a tape recorder out from her pocket, held it to her lips and pressed the record button.

"Today is Day 2 of the Positive Reinforcement Tests. The time is currently 6:48 P.M."

Bulma chewed her lower lip, nodded, and continued to speak.

" The Subject obeyed the 'sit' command, much to my surprise. He enjoyed the praises, but. . ."

Bulma winced as she heard Vegeta slamming the front door downstairs.

". . .The Subject did not respond well to the food treats. I have a feeling he's gone to stiff some poor taxi driver and waiter out of a tip in search of the treat he thinks he deserves." Bulma sighed." I have made a critical error in thinking a man could respond with enthusiasm to a food treat like the common canine. I have no choice but to reward him with kisses, hugs, and . . . other stuff, if I plan on making any progress . "

Bulma shut off the recorder, jotted down a few notes, and hurried to Vegeta's room to wait for him.

*** My sugar high wore off, that's all you get for this chapter. :P**


	3. Chapter 3

**I'm not writing anymore stories on a sugar-high. T_T **

**I'm turning into a fat ass! I gained 3 pounds. Okay that's a lie- - I gained 5! That's exactly what I heard when I hopped on the scale, stupid thing practically wheezed when that little needle said I was a "fat ass!" R.I.P grey scale I bought at Walmart. You are what you eat I guess- - and I'm a marshmellow!:O I was so angry I went into the kitchen and ate a hotdog, lol. I killed that hotdog, ripped every piece of it off like pac man.**

* * *

Chichi and Bulma sat in the shade under the tree in the park, watching Goku and Vegeta argue about how to grill the hamburgers.

"I'm telling you Vegeta, they're done." Goku insisted, his plate ready at hand.

Vegeta flipped the burgers on the grill, ignoring the paper plate Goku held out. "Idiot. Look at them! They're still pink!"

"I thought you liked pink," Goku said simply, his tongue slightly poking out. He wished Bulma was the one cooking instead of Vegeta. With Bulma as the cook, he'd have a better chance at sneaking food off the grill, with Vegeta that wasn't possible. He had the spatula burns on his hands to prove it.

Vegeta muttered incoherent insults, wondering why he'd ever agreed to a day out with Chichi and Goku.

"You're burning them!" Goku shouted, trying to push Vegeta out of the way to 'save' the hamburgers."Here let me cook them!"

Bulma glanced at Chichi, she was just as surprised as she was. 'Me' and 'cook' were words neither thought Goku would ever speak in the same sentence- - and mean it!

"Gah! I'm the cook here! See!" Vegeta motioned to the 'kiss the cook' apron he wore." Now get back to that picnic table and slice up the tomatoes!"

Goku stuck his lower lip out in a pout.

Chichi grasped Bulma by the shoulders, and shook her." Tell me how you did it! Tell me!"

"Woman!" Vegeta shouted from the grill." Are the hamburgers supposed to be black?"

Bulma smiled." No!"

Vegeta cursed.

"I'm still eating them! Don't throw them away!" Goku piped up from the table.

"Gah, can't you do anything right Kakarot? I said _slice_ the tomatoes not_ dice_ them!"

Chichi sighed. Bulma laughed." I guess we better take over if we plan on eating soon." The two women stood up and slowly started crossing the green field.

"How did you get Vegeta to cook in the first place?" Chichi asked, bewildered." He did it without complaint."

Bulma smirked." Men aren't smarter than the common canine, Chichi. All I did was say a command, and rewarded him when he did what I said. And before I knew it, I had him trained." Bulma laughed, amazed by her amazing genius.

"Wow. That's brilliant!" Chichi gasped, wondering why she didn't think of something like that sooner." And what do you mean by rewarding him?"

Bulma blushed." Oh, I gave Vegeta a lot of compliments to boost his ego and. . .did other stuff.. ."

"Other stuff? Like wh- -" Chichi's eyes widened, understanding finally clicking in." Ohhhhh. Other stuff. I get it."

The two women became quiet as they neared their husbands. Bulma kissed Vegeta on the cheek and told him she'd take over while Chichi stood watching her husband dice tomatoes with pride.

" I'll give you your _reward_ later,"Bulma purred in Vegeta's ear, tenderly removing the apron. Vegeta smirked, happy he'd done a good enough job to deserve a reward and was happier to finally be out of that humiliating apron.

Chichi gently took the knife out from Goku's hands." I'll finish up here Goku. You and Vegeta should go pick up some drinks while we cook." She bent down to whisper in his ear." And when we get home, I'll cook you an entire feast, sweetheart."

Goku smiled."Okay Chichi. If that's what you want. . ." Goku exchanged a glance with Vegeta.

"What would you like for us to get?" Vegeta asked, snatching the car keys from Goku's pocket.

"Lemonade would be nice." Bulma said. Chichi nodded.

"I'm driving." Vegeta said.

"But you don't have a driver's license." Goku whined.

"And you do?" Goku nodded happily. Vegeta shook his head. "Something is wrong with this planet."

Goku glanced back. " Okay Vegeta, we can stop pretending we hate each other. We're too far away for them to hear us."

"I wasn't pretending," Vegeta clarified, unlocking his side of the car. He didn't care if Goku had a driver's license. He was driving, and if Goku wanted to challenge him on that, then by all means. . .

"Your advice worked!" Goku tried opening his side of the car, but the door was locked. Reluctantly, Vegeta reached over and unlocked it for him. Goku climbed in and smiled." Chichi said she'd reward me with a feast later. And I messed up slicing the tomatoes!"

Vegeta smirked, slamming his foot against the accelerator. People jumped for safety as the car backed out of the parking lot.

" Hmph. Women are easy to please Kakarot." Vegeta didn't look as he darted into busy traffic, claiming the center turning lane as his own personal lane to drive in. Without any cars in his way ( because it's illegal Vegeta!) he could drive as fast as he wanted. Which was as fast as the little car could go.

Goku rowed down his window, enjoying the strong breeze pouring into the car." So if I do what I'm told, and mess up, it doesn't matter?"

Vegeta smirked." That's the beauty of it Kakarot. You HAVE to mess up, otherwise the woman wins. In fact, we're going to mess up again soon."

"What do you mean?" Goku asked.

"We're not getting lemonade."

They were both silent for a minute, until Goku spoke." We're getting _pink_ lemonade?"

"No. Something stronger than that Kakarot."

Goku raised one of his eyebrows." I don't like sour lemonade."

"WE'RE GETTING ADULT LEMONADE!" Vegeta shouted, ramming a car driving next to him just to release his anger." You know! Lemonade with alcohol in it!"

"Ohhhhhhhh." Goku said slowly, his mouth forming a big O shape.

Vegeta massaged the left side of his forehead." You still don't get it. Do you?"

"Nope."

"Kakarot. . . turn on the music."

Goku smiled, turning the volume knob as loud as it could go. A woman's voice boomed from the car as she sung: _Making my way downtown, walking fast,faces pass, and I'm home bound- -_

Vegeta glanced at Goku unable to believe he was singing to this song. Then shrugged, _eh, nobody can hear us,_ and started to sing a long with him.

_. . . And I still need you, and I still miss you, and now I wonder..._

_If I could fall Into the sky- -_

- Vegeta wins, the end!-

**Song not mine. First heard it off movie White Chicks. Song: A Thousand Miles by Vanessa Carlton**


End file.
